Irony Runs My Life (Or my mind runs my life with constant irony)

Thanks to my former job, I found, by chance, my kitten. I was hoping to have and find a homeless kitten for so long, and after more than two years of my previous amazing cat, Luna's death, I found it. I was walking around my former office's neighborhood with a co-worker, we used to go out and smoke a joint eery now and then. And, all of a sudden, a front yard full of playful kittens! I was looking for a black cat, but it was love at first sight with this champagne coloured kitten. A week later, I found the owner home and took him with me. Named him River Phoenixxx cause to me he looked like the actor (yeh, Im aware he was a cat, ok?). For some reason, I knew he was going to fill my life of joy, I needed to show love to a furry ball that wouldnt complain (much) about it. Also, I wanted it to purr a lot. So And, also, for some reason I thought Id have him for 1 year and a half. I dont know if it happened because I thought it would, or if I knew it would happen because I have such a good instinct or Im a psychich or whatever. All I wanted was to quit my job so I would have more time at home and to enjoy my cat. He was the best cat in the whole world. So, as soon as I quit my job, he leaves. Cats always leave, sometimes for months, specially if they are male and non-castrated. I went to Uruguay for 10 days. I knew he'd be back. And he was back when I was back, but also, he was really ill. He had a urinary infection. I was staying at my mum's and no one told me what was going on, finally, after 3 days, my dad told me and I went home right away. He had been taking care of him all those days, taking him to the vet, paying a hundred pesos a day and all. Wednesday he was doing so much better. Thursday, I stayed home with him, all I wanted to do was to hold him, he was so swallen, he was always going to the videt cause he was peeing but it was so hard for him and he was so tidy and clean, more than I am... I knew I had to take him to the vet, and I asked a boy I used to date if he could take me. He said yes but that he was really busy so better if I found somebody else. So, out of my stupid pride, I didnt ask him. And I left for class. I left my cat alone, there, in pain. When I got back, my dad had already took him to the vet and left him there. In the morning, I was awaked by my dad just saying "Agos..." and he just started to cry, he felt like such a failure cause he couldnt save him. Thing is, all I wanted was time to be with him, and once I got time, he was gone. None of my pets' deaths affected me as much as this one cause I miss him all the fraking time and sometimes I think I see him but he's not there and now all the other cats from the neighborhood come to my lawn to hang out, and I try to feed them like a lonely granny but they just run away. The worst thing was to bury him. I hate that everything I love ends up covered by mud. He was still warm and soft. I wrote some nice messages in the cloth we put him in, I cut some of his Squirrel Tail fur (which I keep) and just couldnt stop caressing him, till my dad had to go to work and I didnt want to do it by myself, so we buried him. I miss his squirrel tail so much.